A life winding down

HBS Guy

Head Honcho 💉💉
Staff member
Mum has shown less and less appetite for food. today she had like two mouthfulls, all I could bully down her throat. She spends more time just sitting, not 100% compos mentis.

Today I saw her slumpled down in her easy chair, not just backwards but slumped over the side of her chair.

Not long to go now I suspect. I informed my two sisters, want them to see Mum then we can work out if there is something we can do. A lot more visits by her children and grand etc children would work wonders. A recent, like 2 weeks ago, set of blood tests returned “perfect” results according to our GP. So what the fuck?

Well, one sister will visit Saturday I hope, the other and her hubby Sunday. (Never the twain shall meet {sigh}) Then maybe work out some sort of plan.
 

Jim Lahey

New member
Its a difficult time JM, I remember waiting for my mother to pass while the life support was switched off....feels like it takes forever

Hopefully your dear old Mum passes peacefully surrounded by family.
 

HBS Guy

Head Honcho 💉💉
Staff member
Or just passes peacefully in her sleep. With the dementia, and it sounds brutal, but in a way I hope she will die soon, die before the bloody dementia takes away everything that makes her her. Still hard to see the rather sudden decline.
 

Jim Lahey

New member
Or just passes peacefully in her sleep. With the dementia, and it sounds brutal, but in a way I hope she will die soon, die before the bloody dementia takes away everything that makes her her. Still hard to see the rather sudden decline.
I don't think it's brutal, I think it's wanting the best for her
 

johnsmith

Moderator
Staff member
Just cherish what time you do have Monk.

That comment from you about slumping in her chair reminded me of my grandfather.

He wasn't ill and had all his faculties. He was about 85 yrs old. He got up one morning, showered and shaved and put on his best suit. My grandmother asked him what he was doing as she wasn't aware of any plans to go anywhere. He gave her a kiss on her forehead and a hug, sat in his favourite armchair, and nodded off ......never to awaken.

It's like he knew his time was up and wanted to be presentable for it.

When I go I want to go like that.
 

SethBullock

Moderator
Staff member
Without going into all the details, this sounds like the passing of my parents and my father inlaw. All three of them had lived long, full lives. All three of them died peacefully in their sleep with their loved ones near. All three of them had accepted that their time had come. These were blessings we could hold on to in our time of sadness.

I'm glad your mum has you nearby, looking after her. Another blessing.
 

HBS Guy

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Thanks guys.

Yesterday evening I went to bed, Mum said she would retire “in a minute.” This morning I woke up—Mum still in her chair! Got 2-3 small spoonfulls of yoghurt and blueberries down her with a cup of coffee.

Told my sisters—leaving it to them to tell their kids—so hope both will come this weekend for maybe their last visit.
 

HBS Guy

Head Honcho 💉💉
Staff member
So she has had a good run. She and Dad were the first in her whole family to own their own home (two brothers ended up with bigger, grander homes but Mum was first.) Three children, 6 grandkids, 13 great grand kids, 2 great great grand kids.

When Dad returned from forced labor in Germany in WWII he came home to Mum saying “I have a house!” which was a near impossibility at that time (1945.)

She worked as tea lady at Charlicks Flour Mills, helped them in many other ways incl telling the management about Rotterdam—ships of wheat/flour used to get grounded on the bar at the port of Hull, now they shipped to Rotterdam, tranship by coastal freighters etc.

She has nothing to be ashamed off in her life.
 

HBS Guy

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A niece of mine said “Oma didn’t deserve dementia” saying she deserves to pass peacefully away one night. Yup.
 

HBS Guy

Head Honcho 💉💉
Staff member
Mum is on her way to Flinders Medical Centre, local big hospital, by ambulance. Slipped out of her chair onto the carpeted wooden floor—no injury. But she was non compos mentis so I called the ambulance. Very low blood pressure. She won’t be out of hospital for 2-3 months.
 

HBS Guy

Head Honcho 💉💉
Staff member
Yeah, she will be OK. Being rehydrated and is on oxygen. Probably will need an antibiotic—some infection may have caused the loss of apetite. And she scored a ton, not too bad. She may be the second sister to reach 101.
 
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